One Year Ago Today PART II

I was still holding on to her. Hoping Charmaine was very private, over due and/or running from the abusive birth father and she would be ours. It was my day off (Friday) and I was still feeling depressed from the LAMEST EMAIL KNOWN TO MAN, sent exactly one week from this day. I still had the bassinet out, staring at it with all the pink things spilling out over the edges, thinking about her, praying for her trying to let go of her... At the end of the day, the phone rang. I stared at it willing it to be someone telling me, "Your prayers have been answered, she's born and she's yours, come get her!" I couldn't believe it, it was my caseworker "C.Y.", my heart stopped... He was calling to apologize, as Michael had called him earlier in the week to tell him the email was inappropriate (and devastating). I told him I didn't want to be a person who was bitter and angry so it was fine (though it got worse later when he became even more unprofessional), I wanted to move on and focus on positive things. Specifically, I told him I wanted to concentrate on being chosen again. He said, "Are you ready for this?".... (the rest is here, in this past post) http://michaelandlila.blogspot.com/2008/09/you-will-not-believe-this.html .
When we heard this, we were very excited but also concerned about betraying our little girl. We prayed so hard. We wanted it to be so true! We embraced it quickly and decided to move forward with faith that Heavenly Father would make it be the way it should. We were very excited to meet Courtney now and this little boy who would be named EVAN, "God's gracious gift. ;)