Friday, September 5, 2008

You Will NOT believe this!

As I sat on my couch today (day off), feeling sorry for myself, willing my body to un-glue from my seat so i can put the baby stuff away... i found myself so bored and unpurposful that I was getting depressed. Every time the phone rings, I think it's going to be the caseworker to tell me he's got hold of Charmaine. Then, my cellphone rang! It WAS Christopher, my caseworker. I paused the T.V., held my breath and literally said a prayer (about what i don't know). First he made small talk about knowing I was upset with him about the email and that he was very sorry. I thanked him for understanding and hearing what we had to say. After that discussion he said "Are you ready for this?" off guard, I said, "?uhh, depends on what i need to be ready for"? (obviously hoping he'd say they got hold of "C"... He told me a new birth mother choose us! She is a 17yr old girl, in the Dekalb County Jail (i assume Georgia. Christopher forgot to get her name and will get it later for us) but doesn't know her offense. She is having a BOY, due on October 25th. She and the birth father are Caucasian. When she returned her 'health history' she admits she smoked at the beginning of her pregnancy but otherwise has had a healthy pregnancy. We were then told the following; she first contacted the agency about 1 month ago, She has reddish brown hair in a trendy/crazy style (Hannah thought i'd appreciate that), short in the back, long in the front with big bangs. She's 5ft 2in, average build. He mentioned she may need some 'pass through expenses' (help with rent/food etc) when she gets out of jail in the next few weeks to a month, till the baby is born. (money's we would agree to pay above and beyond the adoption costs, could be up to $1000.00? Currently we have not been interested in this as it's more common to be taken advantage of). She is not LDS (from our church) but he said she has prayed about this decision. Christopher told us, the reason she said she picked us is that she loves animals and thought our pets "are rockin' awesome" (you can even tell in pictures!!! lol) and she said that we looked like the family she never had but always wanted. (that is very nice)
Obviously this is great that we were contacted about this. I am trying to understand if this is what Heavenly Father intends for us as I am still heartbroken for this little girl. We are praying, please respect that it is hard for us to turn off the recent experience to consider a new one. We do have a request. Will you please join us this Sunday in a special fast for this situation. We don't want to be hurt and hope fasting will guide us. We will be fasting for 2 consecutive meals and praying whether this little boy is meant for our home and for Heavenly Father to allow us to open our hearts to him as it heals from our recent adoption possibility. We appreciate whatever faith and prayer you can send our way, if you are unable to actually fast, I know Heavenly Father hears our sincere prayers and efforts. Your contribution will be felt either way. Thank you. Love You!
Michael and Lila and our rockin' awesome pets: Smokey, Samantha & Oliver

12 comments:

Carrie and Nathan said...

You got it. Thanks for the update, I check it daily.

H said...

OK - so talk about the CHILLS I got when reading this. It feels so amazing - I can't even explain it - and it's not even happening to me! I always had a feeling there was a little one out there just waiting for the right time......
And for her to give credit to your pets - wow - Smokey and Oliver ARE amazing - because of their parents! All the best to you and Michael. I will be checking your blog every minute!!
Love you.

MomSqrt said...

So happy for you!!! Don't deny us the blessings by not letting us help! Let us know what we can do :D

"If You're Happy and You Know It CLAP YOUR HANDS!!!!"

*clap**clap*

Rach :D

gretchen said...

Wow! I can't believe what I am reading. I am sure it is going to be crazy hard to let yourself get attached to this new idea. Oh My goodness I am in shock.
WOW. shock shock shock. This is like a roller coaster you are on. I am amazed that you are doing so well. I'll meet you in my fast on Sunday!!! Love you :)

Lee said...

I have tears streaming down my face for you. I will pray pray pray for you!!! You are one of the strongest people I know and I'm proud to be able to call you my friend. Hang in there. It's an emotional ride!

Meghan said...

I will definitely include you in my fast this Sunday. Will you include my situation in yours as well please? Thank you! Much love to you both!

Chesney said...

Count me in!

Heidi said...

Lila, Your comment on my blog came at a time when I really needed it yesterday. It was so sweet and you totally uplifted me and so I ventured over to your blog, wanting to comment, but not knowing what to say yet, wishing I could uplift your spirits like you had done for me. I have been praying for you and tonight I put your name on the temple prayer roll, then I came home, read your comment to me again, then went to your blog and could not believe your recent post! I am so happy and excited for you I could scream. We will definitely be praying for you. Please keep us posted! I so appreciate your friendship and love.

Deanna said...

I am so excited at this new possibility! We will be praying for you! I'll say it again... "All things are present before the Lord." He knows YOUR children because they are HIS children.:) Plus, kudos to your rockin' awesome four-legged family members.

noladenise said...

OK! Count the 4 of us in!!!! We are all here for you - and fasting along with you.....Terry, Denise, Amanda and Alison

swdotb said...

You and Michael are in my thoughts and prayers this evening. If I would have read this earlier today, I would have joined you in your fasting. Hold on, hold steadfastly. Wishing you fortitude and faith, renewed hope and lots and lots of love,
swdotb

Lindsey's Story said...

Lila & mike- You know I love you and I tried really hard to participate in the fast but I couln't quite make it-I had to eat lunch! I've had a migraine all day just from skipping breakfast-my body doesn't do well when fasting. I hope what I've done helps a little -I'm so excited about the news!