As I sat on my couch today (day off), feeling sorry for myself, willing my body to un-glue from my seat so i can put the baby stuff away... i found myself so bored and unpurposful that I was getting depressed. Every time the phone rings, I think it's going to be the caseworker to tell me he's got hold of Charmaine. Then, my cellphone rang! It WAS Christopher, my caseworker. I paused the T.V., held my breath and literally said a prayer (about what i don't know). First he made small talk about knowing I was upset with him about the email and that he was very sorry. I thanked him for understanding and hearing what we had to say. After that discussion he said "Are you ready for this?" off guard, I said, "?uhh, depends on what i need to be ready for"? (obviously hoping he'd say they got hold of "C"... He told me a new birth mother choose us! She is a 17yr old girl, in the Dekalb County Jail (i assume Georgia. Christopher forgot to get her name and will get it later for us) but doesn't know her offense. She is having a
BOY, due on October 25th. She and the birth father are Caucasian. When she returned her 'health history' she admits she smoked at the beginning of her pregnancy but otherwise has had a healthy pregnancy. We were then told the following; she first contacted the agency about 1 month ago, She has reddish brown hair in a trendy/crazy style (Hannah thought i'd appreciate that), short in the back, long in the front with big bangs. She's 5ft 2in, average build. He mentioned she may need some 'pass through expenses' (help with rent/food etc) when she gets out of jail in the next few weeks to a month, till the baby is born. (money's we would agree to pay above and beyond the adoption costs, could be up to $1000.00? Currently we have not been interested in this as it's more common to be taken advantage of). She is not LDS (from our church) but he said she has prayed about this decision. Christopher told us, the reason she said she picked us is that she loves animals and thought our pets "are rockin' awesome" (you can even tell in pictures!!! lol) and she said that we looked like the family she never had but always wanted. (that is very nice)
Obviously this is great that we were contacted about this. I am trying to understand if this is what Heavenly Father intends for us as I am still heartbroken for this little girl. We are praying, please respect that it is hard for us to turn off the recent experience to consider a new one. We do have a request.
Will you please join us this Sunday in a special fast for this situation. We don't want to be hurt and hope fasting will guide us. We will be fasting for 2 consecutive meals and praying whether this little boy is meant for our home and for Heavenly Father to allow us to open our hearts to him as it heals from our recent adoption possibility. We appreciate whatever faith and prayer you can send our way, if you are unable to actually fast, I know Heavenly Father hears our sincere prayers and efforts. Your contribution will be felt either way. Thank you. Love You!
Michael and Lila and our rockin' awesome pets: Smokey, Samantha & Oliver
