Dear Blogger, and a couple extra things I have to say. ha ha ha

I am LOVING all the new features on Blogger. The spam filtering is my first favorite cause I have some crazy's that comment from china in script I obviously don't know but if you click their link to see who it is, it's sex solicitation or selling something dumb so I am soooo thankful they go right to spam now. Recently I went private for a day cause although I started to blog for myself as a journal and for my California family too see and hear how we are, I now feel I blog also for 'the public'. I feel like no one's out there though sometimes. I enjoy sharing our life with friends and even strangers (as it pertains to them understanding our adoption process and or understanding our Religion) which is why I keep it public for now. There are many misunderstandings about Adoption and I like people to see that in our family it is a word, not a separation that our children are different than us. If others didn't know we had adopted, no one would ever think to ask if our family was any different than your biological one (except I feel more free to brag about my kids cuteness otherwise I might be giving myself a compliment, ha ha ha). Also, Religion, being LDS is something I constantly talk about with others. I feel like this is a safe way, for others, to hear who we are and see our life to decide for themselves if they agree that we are indeed Christian. Unfortunately I will barely get feed back about any subject (frown face) that anyone's listening in on, in comments or in email (for those not blogger members). I really enjoy what you have to say, it's our highlight! Then... someone who I NEVER talk to and bump into tells me my whole life story and I'm confused how they know, only to learn they read the blog. ha ha ha. So, yes, I wish there were more comments or emails letting me know the rest of you are out there and are reading but NOW blogger has a sweet feature called "Stats" that will tell me I had 8 views today but 48 yesterday. Last week, over 1400! It even has a graph that shows the highest 'traffic' hours which is just plain interesting. Anyway, even if you are shy about leaving comments here or on email, I now feel a little more love that you're reading what I wrote about or photographed, cause really, I do it for you too. Those of you loyal commenters, you know who you are, thank you for your continued support and please disregard the rant above. he he he. I try to pay it forward on your blogs cause I know how hard it is to load these dang pictures! ;). Moral to the story, don't just stalk, consider leaving a comment. Some of you don't have blogs for me to stalk so thats not fair and I know some of you are family, so shame on you for sneaking a peek without returning the favor of letting us in your life too! ;) gotcha.
I'm looking forward to the possibility of even more new Blogger features and hopefully more sweet comments from all of you. Thanks for your time. :)
The End. Lila

"We have to forego some good things in order to choose others that are better or best because they develop faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and strengthen our families."

Elder Dallin H. Oaks

Motherhood: An Eternal Partnership with God

Motherhood: An Eternal Partnership with God

Isn't it though? :) I would extend this topic to "Parenthood" but Mothers especially do play a unique role in raising children. I hope all the mom's reading this do feel their divine worth and I hope those of you yearning to be mothers can know you can be preparing now to be the parent (and spouse to your husband) your children deserve. God Bless.

Neeeeew caseworker....

So, this morning at the ungoshly hour of 730ish, our house phone rang. I don't answer the house phone often as despite signing up for the non telemarketing thingamajig, they still squeak through. So, as I pryed my eyeball open from it's very sleepiness, I noticed it said "Indianapolis, Indiana" just before I quickly picked it up then hung up (so not to wake my baby but too late) on, 'the telemarketer'. Then I shot up and said, "That could be our new caseworker!" lol Thankfully he called right back.
We had a GREAT conversation and do feel the blessings of not giving up. He also called yesterday afternoon and left a message at the house (which I didn't know till a few minutes ago). That means, HE tried to call US, TWICE in a 24 hour period! I feel spoiled!! lol ;) he he. Anyway, he listened, he talked he layed it out there. I told him any tedious tasks he assigns will help us feel like we going in the right direction while he gets acclimated to Tennessee Adoptions and his new families he will be working with. It feels like it did when we started to work with Matt Watson in the beginning and that is really a great feeling. We will get to meet him to get our "Home Study" updated, in about 2 weeks (same week my sister Jenalyn and family are coming to visit but before they get here). We are grateful he is willing to come from Indiana to help us, it is so refreshing. We are praying for him to be able to get the Tennessee licensure he's requesting and for him to have ease in getting acclimated quickly with the Tennessee families he is now representing. Ahhhhhh....... It really does feel like a breath of fresh air, just in time for spring. Perfect timing. Thank you for all our kind words, thoughts and prayers. For those of you not aware of the process, although this is good news, the next steps are a little slow to getting ourselves actually 'Approved' for our next Adoption but stay with us, we know it is this way and understand it. When we are "Approved" I will post that and we can all start sending the word out more that we are 'looking for our next child' to join our family. xoxo

Adoption Process Revision

So, I feel alright about the intensity in which I pursue the things I love and believe in. I recently blogged about the adoption process whoas. When our caseworker upset me during Evan's adoption, I really admit how out of control of the situation I felt. I had to continually check with my Heavenly Father as to what to do next cause my natural reaction was horrible. I wanted to yell at him and say 'how dare you treat me this way' but instead would discuss my feelings with Michael and pray, pray, PRAY to feel the spirit until I did again. I'm sure Satan would have LOVED if I would have given up and not got to be a mother and not given Evan the parents he has. He worked really hard on me. THIS time, with the newest caseworker Robin, not returning our phone calls, I have been very calm compared. I did not feel anger this time but did feel frustration and know it's ok, as long as I don't let it overwhelm me. Since this new adventure, trying to contact Robin to renew our Adoption information, I have been praying for us to be successful in getting our paper work in. It seemed the forces were fighting against us in such an unfair way. Well... Sunday a friend/angel (MM) shed some light on the situation! We were told that as of this past Friday, "Robin" doesn't' work for the Atlanta Agency anymore! Not only that, apparently, it seems that we will now be represented by LDS Family Services in Indiana! Wow. We have not been directly told by our agency yet but when we contact them this week (hopefully), it would be great if we could get our information forwarded where it needs to go so we don't waste any time. :) We are so excited about the thought of adding to our family, we do not want to waste time looking for our child and again enlisting all of you to help us. Let's hope this information will help us on our way... soon!

And, the winner is...

This is what I chose for Evan's Blessing outfit and if appropriate, for him to wear to the temple. I still don't know if there are guidelines on that for him so if someone knows, please enlighten me if you know. For the blessing I actually bought a blue/white gingham long sleeved shirt to go under this jumper as opposed to the white short sleeved shirt pictured. I actually wanted the 'gown' below so I could use it on all our children, boy or girl... Michael said no, boo to him! He looks like a baby on little house on the prairie. :)

P.S. (4.5.09) the outfits featured are at "Whipper Snappers", a local child clothing and 'stuff' store with many homemade things, all high quality. Anyway, it's going out of business! Everything is 50% off right now so, go get your cute on! It is located on S. Church Street near Broad (yes their is current bridge construction on Broad so prepare for delays or take I-24. It closes on May 1st I think.

new church callings...

So... after 1 1/2 years (?) as Stake Primary President for me and 15 months as Elders Quorum President in our ward for Michael, we have been released from those callings and invited to be the Young Single Adult Advisors for our ward. We have no idea what we will be doing but we are so excited to work with the YSA's in our area! The group we know are all so great. Most are students at our local college, Middle Tennessee State University http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Middle_Tennessee_State_University but some are working or done with school & searching for what is next. In our area there is no "Singles Ward" because there isn't enough active singles to warrent one therefore, they call a Couple/Family to be Advisors for them. Our purpose seems to be a liason with the ward to help them feel loved and supported especially away from home but also as additional support to their families near and far. If we help the Singles Representatives (one/two of the singles) do their job hopefully we can build that community and do some missionary work along the way to grow the YSA community. Mike and I look forward to supporting these Young Adults in any way we can. We're looking forward to activities and FHE and hopefully we can make it to Institute (in the next city over) a time or two. This service doesn't come without some sacrifice though so we hope we will be able to be made equal to the task. I look forward to bragging about our YSA's so stay tuned! ;)

And they were married...

We were married on a beautiful "first day of Summer" day, for Time and All Eternity, in the Los Angeles LDS Temple. Saturday, June 21, 1997.

Our invitations were ivory with embossed ivy border and black ink. Our engagement pictures were taken by Patrick Boles at Fall Creek Falls, Tennessee. The wedding colors were dark green and burgundy and the reception was at my parents house in Santa Rosa Valley, California.

Susie St. John took our pictures and we will never forget her for doing such a great job.

These are my favorite of our Wedding party and of US on the Temple grounds.

I first saw him across a crowded room...

I was called to be a full time missionary for our church in Seattle Washington from June 1995 - November 1996 (with approx. 150 other missionaries at a time serving there). In that time, you proselyte to the public, teaching and spreading the gospel that we believe in and inviting those that accept it to be baptized. http://www.lds.org/ or http://www.mormon.org/ for more information about my beliefs. We have pretty strict rules as full time missionaries. Things like, up by 6, in bed by 10. No dating (or even hugging the opposite sex), no movie theaters, t.v. or newspapers. Also, you only talk to your families on the phone 2 or 3 times a year, otherwise, you write a weekly letter. For 18mo for the women (sister missionaries) and 2 years for men (elders) you dedicate 24hours a day to your missionary experience. You grow in your knowledge as much as you share your knowledge with others. It is a very unique experience and though you set aside the things of the world for that time, it's very rewarding to be obedient to righteous things.
With that said, I looked forward to returning home and dating and going dancing. I had no intention of getting serious with anyone cause I wanted to go to hair school and didn't want to get distracted. So here I am"Sister Wutkee" as I was known, on my first month in the mission field when it's time for a tri-zone conference. My missionary companion and I get group training and we get to socialize a bit with other missionaries we haven't met or haven't seen in awhile. When we get there, my mission president wants to talk to us. Here is where it begins.... He tells my companion/trainer that he has been told that I have been talking inappropriately on the phone with my district leader. (yes you Jared) I was sooo mad! First of all, I wasn't. He and I barely knew each other and we had stuff in common so it was fun to talk about, music, remodeling classic cars and the fact that he was from Pennsylvania was fascinating enough to me as Utah was the furthest east I had ever been. So we were friends. Also, I didn't appreciate that the Mission President didn't ask me a question but basically took someone else's word that obviously didn't have facts AND went to my companion instead of me! Well... he was about to be surprised by how react to 'injustice' (lol). I bit my tongue for as long a possible. It could have been a whole... 3-4 min when in our meeting in the chapel, they invited the "greenies" (new missionaries) to get up and bear testimony of their beliefs. (this we do at a microphone in front of approx. 30 other missionaries) So, I have no problem speaking and with fuel that could pop a volcano, I got up to bear mine.... Let's just say, my testimony took on a theme of "respect" and let's also just say, from that time on, I was known as "Sister Respect" behind my back. Point being, my future husband, "Elder Stuteville" or "Stu" as he was affectionately called by EVERYONE, was in the crowd trying NOT to listen to the piddly new missionaries till I got up and he was like, "Who does that 'greenie' think she is?" He admits later, it was also intriguing. After that meeting I was still at the front mingling when I looked down to the crowd. I am not kidding with what I am saying but I stopped when I saw a missionary with friends on either side of him, standing up from the pew, arms around each of them while smiling and having a great time. His smile hit me (not something I particularly care about) and I literally saw a "Glow" all around him. I couldn't believe it, yet I didn't make a big deal of it or tell anyone else. It's almost like I totally forgot I saw it but not before hearing a voice in my head say "I've gotta get to know that guy".
And that I did, or at least tried, despite the rules. It started out very innocent cause I just wanted to know something about him. Slowly I found out he was from Tennessee and that he liked to sing and play guitar. Interesting... Seeing as at some point over my life till that time, I created images of my husband over the years and some things I thought were: He would have dark brown wavy hair, a goatee, be a convert to the church and distantly, for some reason, I wanted a porch swing (uncharacteristic for California, so it was weird). Later I learned more things... like, girls in the mission were in love with him (gag), he used to have long hair (yuck), he joined our church at the age of 19 and a year later came on his mission. Well, needless to say, against my plan, I began having a crush on "Elder Stuteville" even though, in my 1 1/2 yr mission I only saw him in person, I think 3-5 times. He showed interest in me too but we couldn't and wouldn't do anything about it. Time passed quickly and before I knew it, it was June 96' and "Stu" as I knew Michael, was about to go home from his mission, his duty was served. I called him to say goodbye and good luck. I sorta stuttered around the subject of "hanging out" sometime after our missions. Knowing, surely he'll be married before I even go home in November (that's how we Mormons roll: meet and marry within 6 months). To my surprise, he said, he'd really like that! I was in heaven!! So, he went home and I finished my mission. A few weeks before I was going home, I wrote him a letter and told him I had a great mission experience and this and that had happened. I also included my phone number which was wrong but what can I do about it now. I felt very filled with the spirit when I wrote my words and apparently he could tell because he called! He told me how moved he was by my letter and that he really wanted to see me, even if he has to come all the way to California (he admits later, he had NO plans of ever going there before this talk and didn't things could work out b/c of our distance but now he was moved). I was thrilled! I had never felt this overwhelming feeling and couldn't believe it was happening. In my last two weeks, we admittedly talked a couple times on the phone but wrote letters almost daily (imagine texting that takes 2-3 days to get there, 2-3 days back, and it's your only way to communicate... since no one knows what letter writing is anymore!). In the end we were feeling and telling each other, we loved each other! I KNOW! Crazy but it is sooo true! I got home November 13th to a care package from Michael but had to rush off cause I had to be formally released from my duties as a missionary only to speed off with my brother Vince to a Connells Concert http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Connells in Los Angeles. I proceeded to talk all night about Michael to him and explain these crazy love feelings I was having. I had never had a boyfriend before as I had usually chased them off with my forwardness before they had a chance. That was it...we needed to see each other. I declared to my NOT surprised parents that I was in love with him and had to go see them. My dad wisely applied the brakes and said, "I'm gonna have to be a little old fashioned here. He's going to have to come here first." I whined, "But daaaaaad! He just got a new job and has no money and no time off!" He understood and said, if Michael would let him, he'd pay for 1/2 his flight to get to CA, since he knew he would be talked into paying for me to go there anyway, he was willing to do this instead. At first Michael refused on pride and first impressions that he couldn't do it himself (I understand now, but not then) but after I plead he accepted on the grounds that he would pay my dad back. It was set, he came to CA, on Thanksgiving evening, two weeks after I got home from my mission. My brother Jesse drove me to LAX to get him. I could barely contain myself! On a mission, we are separated by arms length and rules to keep us focused on our task, now I was free to do as I wished... and I did! As soon as we were in the safety of the back seat of the car, I kissed him! (he learned what he was in for, real fast) As far as I was concerned, that had taken too long! Over the '3' days of his trip, we went on our first date to Disneyland (still keep the Pirates of the Caribbean token he made me on my key chain. It reads "I love you, you are my world - Mike), had our first kiss, he met most of my 10 siblings & parents and on the 3rd day as we waited for his plane at the airport, we were picking out wedding dates for June! I felt like I had known him forever, like he knew me our whole lives and there was nothing to stop me from making sure we spent the rest of it together. I visited TN a few weeks later for New Years (MDS paid my whole way, to pay back my dad, Very impressive), where we picked out my ring and 2 months to the day of getting home from Seattle, Jan 13th, I packed up my Grand Am with my brother Vince helping me move and I relocated to TN. I haven't regretted my choice. Though I miss my family very much, I've learned a new meaning to family here in Tennessee. Something different then I've ever had before and this is why I stay and proudly call myself... a Tennessean!