Dear Blogger, and a couple extra things I have to say. ha ha ha

I am LOVING all the new features on Blogger. The spam filtering is my first favorite cause I have some crazy's that comment from china in script I obviously don't know but if you click their link to see who it is, it's sex solicitation or selling something dumb so I am soooo thankful they go right to spam now. Recently I went private for a day cause although I started to blog for myself as a journal and for my California family too see and hear how we are, I now feel I blog also for 'the public'. I feel like no one's out there though sometimes. I enjoy sharing our life with friends and even strangers (as it pertains to them understanding our adoption process and or understanding our Religion) which is why I keep it public for now. There are many misunderstandings about Adoption and I like people to see that in our family it is a word, not a separation that our children are different than us. If others didn't know we had adopted, no one would ever think to ask if our family was any different than your biological one (except I feel more free to brag about my kids cuteness otherwise I might be giving myself a compliment, ha ha ha). Also, Religion, being LDS is something I constantly talk about with others. I feel like this is a safe way, for others, to hear who we are and see our life to decide for themselves if they agree that we are indeed Christian. Unfortunately I will barely get feed back about any subject (frown face) that anyone's listening in on, in comments or in email (for those not blogger members). I really enjoy what you have to say, it's our highlight! Then... someone who I NEVER talk to and bump into tells me my whole life story and I'm confused how they know, only to learn they read the blog. ha ha ha. So, yes, I wish there were more comments or emails letting me know the rest of you are out there and are reading but NOW blogger has a sweet feature called "Stats" that will tell me I had 8 views today but 48 yesterday. Last week, over 1400! It even has a graph that shows the highest 'traffic' hours which is just plain interesting. Anyway, even if you are shy about leaving comments here or on email, I now feel a little more love that you're reading what I wrote about or photographed, cause really, I do it for you too. Those of you loyal commenters, you know who you are, thank you for your continued support and please disregard the rant above. he he he. I try to pay it forward on your blogs cause I know how hard it is to load these dang pictures! ;). Moral to the story, don't just stalk, consider leaving a comment. Some of you don't have blogs for me to stalk so thats not fair and I know some of you are family, so shame on you for sneaking a peek without returning the favor of letting us in your life too! ;) gotcha.
I'm looking forward to the possibility of even more new Blogger features and hopefully more sweet comments from all of you. Thanks for your time. :)
The End. Lila

pieces of me...

Here is my family so far. wink. I have so many thoughts about my husband Michael, our first child Evan and newest addition, Cora Grace. I can't stop thinking about how grateful I feel to the mercies of our Heavenly Father that he will give you the righteous desires of your heart (in his time), if you continue to trust him and have faith in him and serve him. I hope I don't sound like a broken record but I dreamed, prayed, fasted and hoped to be a mother for so long, many many years. Here I was enjoying being married to Michael, I felt fortunate to have nabbed him up when I did because he is so caring, a very good listener, funny, smart, smart, Smart!, talented, loyal, strong in our faith and deserving of the priesthood power he holds. I wouldn't have thought I 'deserved' someone like him but I did hope to have someone like him and worked hard to make myself worthy of the idea of him so it was a pleasant surprise that when we met, we melted together as if we were never apart. Still, after a few years of marriage, the desire to have children and the disappointment of infertility was so strong, it was not the life I wanted so instead of just asking for my children to come in my prayers, I began to tell my Heavenly Father that this isn't the life I want with Michael, without children laughing and playing, growing into successful adults (hopefully) and plead with him about that. Finally we were given Evan. What a gift! I experienced a whole new level of JOY that I didn't know existed in my heart yet it was so natural and all the years of bareness disappeared bit by bit. I knew before Evan came he wouldn't be our only child so I was carefully to "treat him like he is our third". smile. That meant I would push myself to let him cry more than I wanted or get a bruise and scrape. I'm not a parent who jumps to his falls or even gives him much attention after he does cause my parents let us learn to soothe ourselves and I liked that. Doing even those little things, I think prepared us for the call about Cora and do we want her, 'she was born this morning'. I was able to realize, this is how Heavenly Father is answering my prayers (For the month before this, I had been praying for H.F. to be preparing our birth mother for us. I am not kidding. I prayed for that with Evan too). I knew I needed to be able to make a decision quickly cause she needed to be with the family she was meant for and I needed to concentrate on my child if it wasn't her but it was. It couldn't have been made more clear than when I held her the next night for the first time. She was crying before being handed to me and as soon as her body touched my fingertips as she was handed to me, she was silent and suddenly very alert and aware of a change. We knew each other immediately and it helped me feel a bigger confirmation that she is my daughter and Evan's baby sister.

Michael was either born much more logically than me or his parents raised him this way but 'walking by faith' isn't his strong suit ( i also recognize this as a male trait). He wanted a big family when we were first married and trying but when it took us 9 years! to get Evan... he would have been happy with just him I'm pretty sure. Now that Cora is here and real he would probably eat those thoughts cause he's loving her more and more each day. I hope he will let me have all the babies I want, even if his logic doesn't see how it can be afforded. ;) (love you honey). I am so grateful I get to change these diapers, wash all the laundry, pick up the bedrooms, read the books, feed the food, play 'where is Evan', watch yo gabba gabba, have playtime with cousins, watch them learn and get smarter... You want to know why some woman can have 'so many children'. I expect that they were just made to handle the chaos that ensues but still are able to get the joy out of the little things. Today I am grateful that my family is healthy and happy (which I pray for every night and day and in between). I am grateful that my children are relatively good-wink (though Evan is a gigantic handful these days with his intellect and energy!). My daughter is taking after Evan: now a month + old, she is sleeping through the night, usually 9 hours, 530a-6a eats, burps and goes back to sleep for 3-4 hours. Cora is so content, only crying when she wakes up because she is starving! or if you are playing with her too long and she wants to go to sleep (to the untrained eye, this can also look like she's hungry but she isn't). She let's me give her Mohawks and dress her in all the thousands of clothes I keep getting. lol. She is still little though, wearing newborn diapers and clothes but drinking 4 and 5 ounces. She is getting more and more beautiful and her faces are so cute when she's just waking up or rooting around for a bottle. She tolerates Evan when he climbs into her crib to play with the cool toys she's got from the gift cards she's received (thank you!). The other day I laid her down with her mobile going and left the room to 'clean' probably. Evan had been running around the house like the banshee that he is when I realized it was quiet. I quickly searched the house, listening for his 'noises' and when I finally found him he was in Cora's crib, laying his head on her chest/chin (as she grunted for him to get off! lol) because he wanted to watch the mobile like her too! LOL. :) Thankfully neither child was hurt in this story cause it was just too cute of what he was trying to do, to punish him. I'd like to just put a video camera up all day to capture some of these many daily occurrences to remember them forever but that is why I take time for my blog. Again, I am grateful to have been given these children. They were born for me and for Michael, born for us and I know it everyday. Adoption has inspired me to educate other what it means and that these are no 'second hand' children. Not only do they feel like they were born to us, they are loved by their birth parents, no matter the circumstances and placed in our home so we can be their Parents. I suppose I am opinionated on most subjects I know anything about but that is how God made me so I find joy in that trait of mine. I want my children to always know how special they are and what a gift they are to us (and all of you). One day, if they are at all like me, I'm sure they will tell me. ha ha ha. I can't wait.

So... This is my journal and my documentation of my family, my feelings about them and my life. I hope to print it one day and hope my children appreciate that I described how they made me feel each day. Entertaining everyone else reading is only a biproduct of my families documentated antics. I appreciate the comments and feedback. As a reward, here are some of my favorite pictures from the last week. :)

and the cutest of cuteness...

and video from July 1, 2010...

-- Sent from my Palm Pixi

One week ago

Our little family of 3 became a family of 4! We have had a busy busy week but one of peace. We got to my parents house on Tuesday night then errands Wednesday, a baby shower today (thank you!) with all my ol' friends from church, tomorrow a photo shoot with my niece Juliet and Cora (oh, just wait! it's going to be the most adorable thing you've seen in I don't know how long). Saturday may turn into a beach day, Sunday is Church and family potluck and Monday is leave for HOME! We miss you Tennessee! :) We just hope a fairy godmother has come and removed, un needed furniture, cleared clutter and repainted the guest bed. Whew, I'm tired already. Not exactly looking forward to the drive but prefer it over flying right now any day.

I am grateful for the excitement of everyone, the love and support. The emotions are through the roof. It makes me giggle a little to think of how fast this all happened. I feel dizzy when I think about what is ahead as well! Anyway, thank you so much for your love and support. Cora is doing great, adjusting really perfectly. I can't wait to get her home to our own pediatrician too. 2 under 2 is going to be a challenge at the ped office. lol. Boy will SHE be surprised as well! :)

Road video

-- Sent from my Palm Pixi

Images from today...

This is Cora's birth mommy, Cyndee. She had just left the hospital and come to the meeting tired tired tired.

Cora's birth Grandmother Marleen (sp?) who gave me a gift for Cora when she turns 16 that is a family heirloom. :) It was such a sweet gift from a wonderful and strong woman.

the R.S. pres (who's name ESCAPES me! so sorry!), Kristyn (sorry i just noticed i was spelling your name wrong.) who started this all, me/cora and the LDSFS caseworker for Cyndee, Wayne.

buddies

"what do we do with this toy?" soon after this pic, cora cried and poor stewart totally freaked out cause the 'toy' talked and scared him. awww.

uncle jesse entertaining evan with his 'gurgling' talent. whatever works. lol.

Just after bath time. Her hair is even blonder now. lol.

this is what evan was doing when our backs were turned. climbing on everything, then here, drinking everyone's water in GLASS cups. whew he didn't break any.

Kelli teaching Stewart about how to hold a baby.


new edition family pics for now. we'll try to get evan in one later. :0)

Daddy meeting daughter for the first time. :)

(evan causing mischief behind our turned backs. lol)

good night.

Cora Grace

Born June 1, 2010

at 804am

7 pounds 5 ounces

19 inches

blonde hair, possible blueish eyes as of today? :)

Cora, your name means "filled heart" . Your daddy picked it before we were even married. One of his favorite movies is "The Last of the Mohicans" and Cora is one of the sisters in the story. He hoped we would have a beautiful daughter one day that we could name that too. Grace is after Grandma Karla's mother who she loved so much and went to heaven too early. G.K. always talks about how much she loves and misses her mom and your mommy always loved that and can't wait to meet her in heaven. Your name is very special to us, it is all about love and the culmination of so many years of dreaming about you. You have many birth family members that love you and will miss seeing you in person. Your birth sister Jessica had the hardest time because she loves you so much. She wanted to name you Valerie and bought you a special sisters locket so you will always remember that she loves you. Your mommy really likes that name but when we prayed about it, we knew you were supposed to be our Cora Grace. We think you like it and we really think you like us cause you are so good and quiet for us (so far). You have been trying to open your eyes a lot to see us and are curious about your brother seeming so uninterested. BUT your cousin Stewart is in LOVE with you and can't stop looking at you and asking about you, it's sweet. cousin Adelle was pretty tired when you came home so she will have a reported reaction later. Your uncle Jesse and aunt Kelli couldn't wait for you to come to their house where we are staying. They held you a lot and are the best hosts so we may never leave. Lucky for you, Aunt Kelli is keeping your brother Evan busy so he doesn't try to jump on you. ;) Every minute you are in our arms, you get cuter and cuter and every moment a stronger bond to you is made. Thank you for coming to our family sweet baby daughter. xoxo

Placement gift

I'm about to go to the 'relinquishment' meeting in 45min where I will get to bring Cora home to my brother Jesse's house after. At this meeting i'll wait in the lobby while Cyndee signs her rights to us as a parents. I will be called in after where we will exchange the baby. This did not happen at evan's adoption so I'm sure it will b very emotional especially without mike there with me. My brother Jesse will come with me though which is nice to have someone there. We are encouraged to give a placement gift, shying away from extravagance. We bought her this necklace shaped like a heart with a diamond in it's shape to symbolize that Cora will always be in her heart. I write her this note as well to express our gratitude. Next time I post it will likely be a picture of Cora or she and I. :) deep breaths... Thank you for the prayers, we cannot believe this is really happening! :)

-- Sent from my Palm Pixi

Good Morning :)

Sorry I have no pictures but hopefully today I will have a chance. If not tomorrow. Life is INSANE right now. We really appreciate your well wishes, prayers etc. I am constantly on the phone and getting worn out. yikes. Anyway, this is a short report to say, everything is moving forward smoothly despite the fact that mike won't be here till late tonight and if our daughter is discharged today, it won't be to me but to a foster family in our church (it's almost as good as to me so it's 'o.k.') for the night. I have a meeting soon with the caseworker then off to an unknown day! I have permission to announce her name

CORA GRACE

I'll explain it later but we have loved that name since before we were married and finally feel it is her name. (difficult decision to make without your husband here :( but we agree it's beautiful for her). It turns out that Cyndee has a family member named Cora so it is a welcomed name to her. When I have time, I will put more details for you, thank you for your patience. I will not be able to return emails and texts as it is just too much right now but I will love reading the wishes later! I'm off! xoxo

Our first meeting

I am DEAD tired so will be short unfortunately. Our friend kristen snuck this pic of me holding our daughter (who has a name but we'll reveal it tomorrow after talking). She is VERY cute & sweet. I think she knows her momma was holding her. I didn't want to leave... I look forward to being with her again tomorrow. :) ahhh. Can't wait for sleep.

-- Sent from my Palm Pixi

Flat Stanley & Caseworker Interview

FLAT STANLEY

First of all, can we all "LOL" that Mike and I are taking a buddy picture with a paper guy? ;) So my nephew Jace in California had read the story of "Flat Stanley" in school (I am vaguely familiar but never read, I don't think) and we're asked to send their own "F.S." to someone and have them report back with a photo and story about where FS has been. So, first of all, he sent it to Michael and not me!? (What the heck? he he) Now, please forgive my break in this story but Michael is THE biggest 'stick in the mud'! He rarely does anything without written notice of 2 months of preparation. But when we received the envelope in the mail on Monday, I barely finished reading the letter to him and he was practically jumping out of his shorts to do it! What the heck?! Anyway, I was very happy that his instant reaction was so great but it gets better. He was devouring the instructions, mumbling plans to himself and outloud, counting off the places he wanted to take Stanley and what he will say in the 'essay' portion. Last night he was so excited to show me that he made a paper Titans jersey for Stanley! Can there be more exclaimation points in this post!?!! Hilarious. So, today, before meeting our caseworker Dave, we stopped in Nashville to hopefully take pictures of landmarks (worried some would be ruined from the recent flood disaster) and F.S. I do not want to spoil Michael full report to sweet Jace but there will be more than 1 picture and hopefully Michael can contain his essay about his new b.f.f.'s adventures in Tennessee to half a page. LOL. So, thank you Jace for unknowingly getting your Uncle to show who he's been hiding from us. I hope you get to see how much we love our state, especially Michael. It's his pride and joy and he was a perfect match for this assignment. We hope you get a good grade or a pat on the back, whatever they are passing out. We love you Jace (and Flat Stanley).

CASEWORKER INTERVIEW

For those of you that have missed it, we are trying to get approved so we can adopt again. No there is no baby waiting (that we know of), we are just taking the steps to complete the paperwork to be approved to adopt. With Evan, we took almost a year to get the paperwork finished. It was exciting and important to us but we were so distracted. 2 years later we were blessed with Evan. This time we are even more motivated cause we have the gift of Evan to remind us, every moment, what is waiting for us at the end of that rainbow. We are surprisingly patient yet very motivated. We know this is the right time for our family and cannot wait to see who is joining us next. No matter how short or long of a wait it is this time, we feel great about our progress and can't wait to move forward! :) So along with paperwork, we have sets of interviews with Dave our new and AWESOME caseworker. We already had a Home visit interview so this time, since he comes from Indiana, we met him in Madison. I have never been there so thankfully we made it ok. Dave is great. He is friendly, professional and hard working. We had a couples interview then individual interviews and he said, "well, you passed"! lol I didn't think there was a possibility not to 'pass' but was kinda nervous after he said that to be honest. he he. Well, Mike "passed" too and now all we need is verification of our health and a FBI background check completed (fingers crossed. lol) then we will be approved and get to be on the http://www.itsaboutlove.org/ website for birth mothers to start viewing us. It has also been recommended to us to list ourselves on http://www.parentprofiles.com/ (it's sort of an adoptive parents advertiser but will cost us money every month. boo but yay for the exposure).

I just cannot tell you in a blog how excited I am that my children come to our family this way. Before Evan, I was so excited for my friend Jeff the whole time his wife was pregnant, not knowing that right before his son was born, I would finally be a parent too. It's just like not knowing whether you are pregnant but from the time I found out we were 'pregnant' to his birth was shorter (and slightly less physically painful). Children are a gift, I personally hope I can wear Michael down and get him to let me have as many children as I want (3-4) but if Evan is our only child, it will be wonderful. I will let you know how you can help once we are "Approved" so look forward to that post to see what you can do to help us find our next family member. Thank you for all your love and interest in our struggle with fertility - success with Adoption. Hang on, it's going to be a bumpy ride! :) xoxo

-- Sent from my Palm Pixi

New Adoption Caseworker

We had our meeting with our new caseworker Dave this morning from 8am -10am (we all had to wake up early for that one. Evan doesn't get up till 9-930 normally). Our meeting today was for us to get to know each other and start the process to be an "approved" adoptive couple again. The reason they have to do this before every adoption is to be sure you didn't become a different (bad) person since the last time. For Dave, he was meeting us for the first time so it was a little more formal then I expected. Still we rolled with it. Part of the 'interview' was inspecting our house to be sure we have safety precautions in place for a child as deemed this time by the state of KY. Of which we will be borrowing their adoption licencing till the Church is able to put a LDSFS Tennessee Agency in place. We passed the home inspection! lol. No biggie but it gets us a step closer to being approved which if we are punctual, we can be approved by the first week of June. After that, we will be making pass along cards, a separate blog for birth mothers and "advertising" on a site called Parent Profiles. What we have learned from our first adoption is not to sit and wait (not that we did, we were very pro-active but) so this time we will be more on top of getting the word out and explaining what you can do to help us when the time is right. So go ahead and start feeling supportive cause we want our process to go as smooth as possible. This process is not for the faint of heart. I look forward to exercising my faith again and building on my testimony that our Heavenly Father DOES want us to have the righteous desires of our hearts. Now, if only he could grow my house a little bigger to fit all my righteous desires in? ;) xoxo

Neeeeew caseworker....

So, this morning at the ungoshly hour of 730ish, our house phone rang. I don't answer the house phone often as despite signing up for the non telemarketing thingamajig, they still squeak through. So, as I pryed my eyeball open from it's very sleepiness, I noticed it said "Indianapolis, Indiana" just before I quickly picked it up then hung up (so not to wake my baby but too late) on, 'the telemarketer'. Then I shot up and said, "That could be our new caseworker!" lol Thankfully he called right back.
We had a GREAT conversation and do feel the blessings of not giving up. He also called yesterday afternoon and left a message at the house (which I didn't know till a few minutes ago). That means, HE tried to call US, TWICE in a 24 hour period! I feel spoiled!! lol ;) he he. Anyway, he listened, he talked he layed it out there. I told him any tedious tasks he assigns will help us feel like we going in the right direction while he gets acclimated to Tennessee Adoptions and his new families he will be working with. It feels like it did when we started to work with Matt Watson in the beginning and that is really a great feeling. We will get to meet him to get our "Home Study" updated, in about 2 weeks (same week my sister Jenalyn and family are coming to visit but before they get here). We are grateful he is willing to come from Indiana to help us, it is so refreshing. We are praying for him to be able to get the Tennessee licensure he's requesting and for him to have ease in getting acclimated quickly with the Tennessee families he is now representing. Ahhhhhh....... It really does feel like a breath of fresh air, just in time for spring. Perfect timing. Thank you for all our kind words, thoughts and prayers. For those of you not aware of the process, although this is good news, the next steps are a little slow to getting ourselves actually 'Approved' for our next Adoption but stay with us, we know it is this way and understand it. When we are "Approved" I will post that and we can all start sending the word out more that we are 'looking for our next child' to join our family. xoxo

Adoption Process Revision

So, I feel alright about the intensity in which I pursue the things I love and believe in. I recently blogged about the adoption process whoas. When our caseworker upset me during Evan's adoption, I really admit how out of control of the situation I felt. I had to continually check with my Heavenly Father as to what to do next cause my natural reaction was horrible. I wanted to yell at him and say 'how dare you treat me this way' but instead would discuss my feelings with Michael and pray, pray, PRAY to feel the spirit until I did again. I'm sure Satan would have LOVED if I would have given up and not got to be a mother and not given Evan the parents he has. He worked really hard on me. THIS time, with the newest caseworker Robin, not returning our phone calls, I have been very calm compared. I did not feel anger this time but did feel frustration and know it's ok, as long as I don't let it overwhelm me. Since this new adventure, trying to contact Robin to renew our Adoption information, I have been praying for us to be successful in getting our paper work in. It seemed the forces were fighting against us in such an unfair way. Well... Sunday a friend/angel (MM) shed some light on the situation! We were told that as of this past Friday, "Robin" doesn't' work for the Atlanta Agency anymore! Not only that, apparently, it seems that we will now be represented by LDS Family Services in Indiana! Wow. We have not been directly told by our agency yet but when we contact them this week (hopefully), it would be great if we could get our information forwarded where it needs to go so we don't waste any time. :) We are so excited about the thought of adding to our family, we do not want to waste time looking for our child and again enlisting all of you to help us. Let's hope this information will help us on our way... soon!

Adoption frustrations

Our family is gearing up to be put back in the Adoption pool. We are feeling pulled to it again and are really motivated. We are attempting to continue with LDS Family Services but have now called and left a message for our new caseworker 3 times with no response. I cannot begin to express to you how disappointing and frustrating it is to get no response from the people who are assigned and (will be) paid to help you. We want our family to grow and Adoption is the only way for us to do that because of Infertility. Not only do we feel it's in the Lord's hands as to whether we get to have more children in our home, it is also up to our caseworkers and agency to do the right thing. I am sad to say we have had bad feelings towards the handling of Evan's Adoption process (left it out of the blog for fear that it could be misinterpreted but it was a bad time) but since his finalization it has been the pure bliss it should have been since he took his first breath. It felt bad to have those feelings and for me, it has taken me this long to let them go or to even document them in this way. I don't want to repeat that process but it is difficult to leave our agency cause we can't afford to go to another. Part of me doesn't want them to get away with ignoring us as they may do it to others. I've been really reflecting on it lately and feel this challenge was possibly even given to me, to learn from but also to push myself to confront this situation in a constructive way. Part of this post is to let you know what is going on. It feels good to type it and let some of that sadness from those old feelings go. We are praying for our agency to respond to us and for us to be patient with them but also for an adoption situation to arise when the time is right. We would love for any of you that would like to, to join us. (we also have a friend named Hallie trying to add to their family through adoption if you don't mind to add her name to you prayer). We feel blessed to have so many friends who love us and support us through our Adoption's. Hopefully we will get to have more children. Thank you for reading. xoxo

Adoption Yard & Bake Sale

sooo.... after trying to get ready for next weekends sale I admit I am in way over my head. I need help! ;) I'm not sure I have enough stuff & only have michael & my friend beth (to help on wed, sorting) so please please please tell me u wanna help at the crack of dawn the 14th & 15th. ;) also thanks to 'cory' who donated a couch & dresser to the yard sale! don't forget you too can donate your old stuff or homebaked goods to our cause. accepting till wednesday! ;) lila

Adoption Yard Sale!

ADOPTION YARD and BAKE SALE

Friday August 14th 2009

and

Saturday August 15th

7:00am - 12pm

We are having our first Yard and Bake Sale AND it will benefit the cost of our next adoption!

Beginning in October when Evan turns 1, we will be eligable to apply again for adoption through our agency. We are so excited and will appreciate your prayers that we could be chosen within 2 years hopefully. (we like to be specific. he he he). Our agency requires the money saved before your application process is completed. Agency and private adoptions in the U.S. can cost between $5,000 and $40,000 depending on a variety of factors including services provided, travel expenses, birthmother expenses, requirements in the state and other factors. While we have some savings, as we learned with Evan's Adoption, more is needed.

We will be asking for and accepting item donations for us to sell in our sale. So please go through your house and think of us before you throw out your old stuff. Any volunteers are welcomed also ;)! lol. (remember, I've never done this before. Yes Katrina, I know you would help if you lived here and wish you did!). If you are interested in donating, we will be collecting them on Wednesday, August 12, 2009 and you can email us at www.lilaandmichael@yahoo.com, also if you want directions.

We would love if anyone wants to donate homemade baked goods too. ;) There will also be bottled water for sale and possibly a lemonade stand! cute!

Brand New Smile.

This morning my sister Katrina texted me and asked "Does Evan feel any different today now that he's official!? :-)". lol. I thought it was a great question because Michael had JUST brought Evan to me in bed (like breakfast in bed but better!) from waking up and he had A BRAND NEW SMILE that I had never seen! Mom's know every smile their child makes, especially their first child that they have time to pay attention to such details and this one was more spectacular and amazing than the rest. Not only that, he kept doing it all morning and later, I captured it while he was playing in his super cool walker! Here it is in all it's amazingness!

Meet the Official Stuteville Family ;)

These are the pictures that my friend Mari (Mary) took. She gave us a wonderful blessing by documenting our day and we so appreciate what she did for us in our time of need. I hope the pictures come across...
http://www.kodakgallery.com/ShareLanding.action?c=8d0z85iy.6vkn9q3i&x=0&y=-85jodm&localeid=en_US&cm_mmc=site_email-_-site_share-_-core-_-view_photos_button
So... What do you know... we are an official family! :) What a unique experience to go through the adoption process! Thankfully our adoption was relatively pain free in the way of the court system but our road was not totally bump free. Many of you have know us since we were married or before and knew of our desire to have children from day one. When we went through the stress and heartache of infertility, you were there. As we prayed about Adoption and Fasted for our child to find their way to us and for our future birth mother to see something in us when she looked at our page, you crossed your fingers. We had a depressing failed placement one week before we found out about Evan and you were there then too. Courtney said she chose us because we looked like the family she always wanted but never had. We are grateful we were that family for her and for our son. The moment that he was born, she excitedly announced "your son! your son! you have a son!" Like you she wanted us to be parents as badly as we did and understood perfectly what she was doing for us. I hope one day, when she is ready to parent she can know exactly what she really did for us that day when she insisted Evan be placed in our arms. That is the moment we were changed. We were lost and confused and couldn't really believe they just swaddled this grimy baby and tossed him in our arms, shuffling us out the door to be alone with him. Trusting us to take care of him and give him what he needed when really, he was giving us everything we needed after so many years of disappointment. In that instant, Evan represented all the children we hope to have, all the dreams we have for them and all the love we stored up to share with them. He, and our Heavenly Father, have shown us how to love him, care for him, know him, teach him and encourage him. Our love for him grows more everyday. Right when you get comfortable with how cute he is and how much joy he exudes, he does something better and your heart bursts! You can't believe this is your child!... I used to dream about, pray for and think about why I wanted to be a mother, why I wanted children and if it really mattered. I didn't want children to have a posterity necessarily but I had a real desire to raise children that are good and moral and true to themselves. I hoped my children would be the ones in their group to be looked up to for standing strong for what they believe. I hoped they would enjoy being with their parents (i don't just want to love them till they're 18! i want them to still like me as adults). I imagined I would encourage them to see their potential in every way, academically, artistically, athletically. I hope they will be humble and sweet, loving and lovable. So, am I normal or what? I'm a parent! I don't think Michael thought a lot about being a parent before we were married. He's the youngest of 2 boys and IS a BOY so, that's two strikes against him right there (lol! :) he didn't have an older bossy sister to make him 'play house'). The point is, Michael is such a great man and father. I think it surprises him that he enjoys being a dad to even such a little baby but, in my husbands eyes, I see a spark I've never seen in our 12 years. He has a love for Evan that is similar but different than the love he has for me and I don't mind. ;) I'm so pleased that he gets to experience this gift. His father died too soon and when Michael was just getting closer to him. I know he misses him and the relationship that was developing and that he looked forward to having. I am glad he gets the chance with Evan to be the parent he wants to be... Anyway, these are the ramblings of a woman on a cloud, still day dreaming about the future. Today, we woke up with smiles on our faces. Chose a super cute outfit for court. Met my friend and client Mari to take pictures before our session started. At 1:00p we were on the 3rd floor, room 306 and we had a blur of an experience. Michael's Mom Jennie and step dad George were there, Mari (the photographer and supporter) and "Aunt" Cammie and "Uncle" Brian slipped in too. :) We stood up, raised our right hand, swearing to tell the truth, said a bunch of yeses and we were congratulated! Seriously, we were only there for like 7 min! I know this because we, took pictures after then down the elevator and I took a picture of the grandparents with Evan it it's time stamped as 1:14! All that waiting and anticipation for 7 minutes of blur! ;) LOL. Here is that photo: Here is my friend Cammie in a tender moment with Evan. I have to keep an eye on her cause I think she wants my baby (Lindsey, you would protect him right?) ;) In other news... When we were on our way home, we ran an errand then stopped at Target. While there, Mike was taking Evan out of his car seat and he started crying. He'd had a long day, was tired and ate weird so he was very possibly cranky. He was inconsolable. We finished and left and fed made a bottle in the car on the way home. He didn't really want it?! By the time we got home, he'd lightly fallen asleep. We were excited when we pulled in the drive way to see we'd had a delivery! The Walker I ordered was here! This was going to be the awesomeist day EVER with our finalization and my kid having the coolest car on the block! ;) But while taking him out of the car, i bumped his seat. He woke up and screamed and now he almost acted like he was in pain? After prodding around, we realized that his right arm was hurt! Anytime we moved it or touched it he was unhappy again. He tried so hard to smile for us or just not to cry but it was hurt somehow. ;( So, needless to say, this was not part of my dream of being a parent. (I selectively kept these unpleasantness's from my plans..) Well we didn't want to be foolish but we didn't want to overreact so we decided maybe a walk-in could examine his arm and give us advice but first we decided Michael needed to give him a blessing, which was great and comforting even though we didn't feel a definite answer right away. But then off we went (first time parents reminder, no making fun). For your information... your almost 7 month old are not welcome in at least 5 local walk-ins. No walk ins we called or visited will see under an 18 mo old (one said they'd see an 8 month old). Well, we called our Pediatrician's office while we drove and were referred to the E.R.! NO THANK YOU! talk about freaked out! If we weren't freaked out before, we were on our way now till we called... Mama Mary ;). She's the first person I got hold of and as everyone in our area feels that knows this family, we can trust a Meredith with the info, especially when it comes to children (plus, as I was raised, I knew she's hook me up with a way to do things the healthiest way, thanks MM!). She validated a tiny thought I had that we could give him some Tylenol or Motrin and see if that helped him first and pointed out he could have dislocated or tweaked something and this might help. Ahh, our first peace and glimmer of hope! As we contemplated this, we gained momentum after my friend Kristyn said the same thing and decided to head home to see how he did on some medicine. In the mean time, he wasn't even lifting his arm and had eventually and thankfully now fallen asleep. When he woke up, we gave him some Tylenol and impatiently tried to keep him still and waited for it to take effect. Slowly he showed signs of life in his right arm! In the end, it totally did the trick! I'm so glad we didn't have to got to the E.R., wasting time and money we don't have. He feels fine now as far as we can tell and will be watching him closely for the next week. We don't want him to be damaged for all the passing around that will happen in one week (!eek!) in California!!! So... now that he was feeling much better, I got to put his new walker together! He L.O.V.E.S it!!! Ok, maybe "I" love it, it is just sooo cute. (thanks a lot Debra for holding back your walker! :) he he) Here's a still and video to document this moment WE fell in love with our walker. :)


Hopefully you now understand why it took us so long to post this days events. ;)

Mother's Day

It may be disappointing that I don't have any monumental, earth shattering feelings about my "First Mother's Day". Don't get me wrong, I love being a Mom, I love MY mom and yet, I don't feel 'special' enough to be celebrated once a year. ;) lol. Anyway, with that said... I had a wonderful day. We went to church where we had a wonderful testimony meeting (last week was stake conference here), then I taught a lame and ill prepared lesson (that totally could have been better but i digress...) to the poor YSA class and then off to Relief Society to hear Candi's lesson (inturrupted by my son who spit up all over my brown skirt! and needed a diaper change so i missed half). It was so great though, I had so many very sincere congratulations and happy mother's days that I felt loved and supported so thank you.
Tomorrow at 1pm we have an appearance at our local courthouse to finalize Evan's Adoption. I'm relieved I do not have the feelings I thought I could and yet, my tummy is in knots. I had the priviledge of witnessing the finalization of my nephew Noah to my brother Bennett and his wife Jennifer about? 4 years ago? Man, there are so many feelings as an onlooker, I'm assuming to be the one it's happening to will be mildly overwhelming. I have shed a few tears that my family cannot be here for this important moment but I know they are aware and excited. We will get to postpone the excitement I would have shared with them till we get to California next week! (19th). I'm grateful to my friend Mari who is going to act as our impromptu photographer and pray we will be able to capture the moments as I see it in my dreams. It seems silly to admit the importance of photography to me but I see life through 1970's, back-sunshined, running through tall wheatfields, glasses. Kinda like a 7-Up commercial or something ;). he he he. Anyway, we are ready for this portion to be over, only to begin the chaos again in October when we re-submit our names in the adoption process. Oh, yes so soon. It took us 2 years to find Evan and make him part of our family. We will be even more pro-active the next time and hopefully another birth mother will see in us what Courtney did and would love Evan to be the sibling to her child. Speaking of October... we will be seeing Courtney in October while Mike goes to Atlanta for a U2 concert with our friend Josh (hopefully Lacey and Linc can come?!). Courtney is very excited to see us and if we find ourselves in Atlanta sooner, we will see her then also. She loves our little family, she is such a fan of us being together and we appreciate the selflessness she showed in allowing us to raise Evan. As Heavenly Father is lending all of his children to us, we take this task very seriously. ;)
So... I will have more pictures posted tomorrow hopefully. Mari will have to get those to me somehow I just realized.. hmm... anyway, wish us luck at our court appearance! ;) whoo hoo!



( i hope you enjoyed the pics of our little stud with his mamma today on mother's day. this is one of my favorite outfits of his so it's how i dressed him. Mike can choose what he wants for father's day... lol, probably a 'striped' outfit... he eh he, right jenalyn? )