{ It's About Love }: pieces of me...

Here is my family so far. wink. I have so many thoughts about my husband Michael, our first child Evan and newest addition, Cora Grace. I can't stop thinking about how grateful I feel to the mercies of our Heavenly Father that he will give you the righteous desires of your heart (in his time), if you continue to trust him and have faith in him and serve him. I hope I don't sound like a broken record but I dreamed, prayed, fasted and hoped to be a mother for so long, many many years. Here I was enjoying being married to Michael, I felt fortunate to have nabbed him up when I did because he is so caring, a very good listener, funny, smart, smart, Smart!, talented, loyal, strong in our faith and deserving of the priesthood power he holds. I wouldn't have thought I 'deserved' someone like him but I did hope to have someone like him and worked hard to make myself worthy of the idea of him so it was a pleasant surprise that when we met, we melted together as if we were never apart. Still, after a few years of marriage, the desire to have children and the disappointment of infertility was so strong, it was not the life I wanted so instead of just asking for my children to come in my prayers, I began to tell my Heavenly Father that this isn't the life I want with Michael, without children laughing and playing, growing into successful adults (hopefully) and plead with him about that. Finally we were given Evan. What a gift! I experienced a whole new level of JOY that I didn't know existed in my heart yet it was so natural and all the years of bareness disappeared bit by bit. I knew before Evan came he wouldn't be our only child so I was carefully to "treat him like he is our third". smile. That meant I would push myself to let him cry more than I wanted or get a bruise and scrape. I'm not a parent who jumps to his falls or even gives him much attention after he does cause my parents let us learn to soothe ourselves and I liked that. Doing even those little things, I think prepared us for the call about Cora and do we want her, 'she was born this morning'. I was able to realize, this is how Heavenly Father is answering my prayers (For the month before this, I had been praying for H.F. to be preparing our birth mother for us. I am not kidding. I prayed for that with Evan too). I knew I needed to be able to make a decision quickly cause she needed to be with the family she was meant for and I needed to concentrate on my child if it wasn't her but it was. It couldn't have been made more clear than when I held her the next night for the first time. She was crying before being handed to me and as soon as her body touched my fingertips as she was handed to me, she was silent and suddenly very alert and aware of a change. We knew each other immediately and it helped me feel a bigger confirmation that she is my daughter and Evan's baby sister.

Michael was either born much more logically than me or his parents raised him this way but 'walking by faith' isn't his strong suit ( i also recognize this as a male trait). He wanted a big family when we were first married and trying but when it took us 9 years! to get Evan... he would have been happy with just him I'm pretty sure. Now that Cora is here and real he would probably eat those thoughts cause he's loving her more and more each day. I hope he will let me have all the babies I want, even if his logic doesn't see how it can be afforded. ;) (love you honey). I am so grateful I get to change these diapers, wash all the laundry, pick up the bedrooms, read the books, feed the food, play 'where is Evan', watch yo gabba gabba, have playtime with cousins, watch them learn and get smarter... You want to know why some woman can have 'so many children'. I expect that they were just made to handle the chaos that ensues but still are able to get the joy out of the little things. Today I am grateful that my family is healthy and happy (which I pray for every night and day and in between). I am grateful that my children are relatively good-wink (though Evan is a gigantic handful these days with his intellect and energy!). My daughter is taking after Evan: now a month + old, she is sleeping through the night, usually 9 hours, 530a-6a eats, burps and goes back to sleep for 3-4 hours. Cora is so content, only crying when she wakes up because she is starving! or if you are playing with her too long and she wants to go to sleep (to the untrained eye, this can also look like she's hungry but she isn't). She let's me give her Mohawks and dress her in all the thousands of clothes I keep getting. lol. She is still little though, wearing newborn diapers and clothes but drinking 4 and 5 ounces. She is getting more and more beautiful and her faces are so cute when she's just waking up or rooting around for a bottle. She tolerates Evan when he climbs into her crib to play with the cool toys she's got from the gift cards she's received (thank you!). The other day I laid her down with her mobile going and left the room to 'clean' probably. Evan had been running around the house like the banshee that he is when I realized it was quiet. I quickly searched the house, listening for his 'noises' and when I finally found him he was in Cora's crib, laying his head on her chest/chin (as she grunted for him to get off! lol) because he wanted to watch the mobile like her too! LOL. :) Thankfully neither child was hurt in this story cause it was just too cute of what he was trying to do, to punish him. I'd like to just put a video camera up all day to capture some of these many daily occurrences to remember them forever but that is why I take time for my blog. Again, I am grateful to have been given these children. They were born for me and for Michael, born for us and I know it everyday. Adoption has inspired me to educate other what it means and that these are no 'second hand' children. Not only do they feel like they were born to us, they are loved by their birth parents, no matter the circumstances and placed in our home so we can be their Parents. I suppose I am opinionated on most subjects I know anything about but that is how God made me so I find joy in that trait of mine. I want my children to always know how special they are and what a gift they are to us (and all of you). One day, if they are at all like me, I'm sure they will tell me. ha ha ha. I can't wait.

So... This is my journal and my documentation of my family, my feelings about them and my life. I hope to print it one day and hope my children appreciate that I described how they made me feel each day. Entertaining everyone else reading is only a biproduct of my families documentated antics. I appreciate the comments and feedback. As a reward, here are some of my favorite pictures from the last week. :)