Adoption Thoughts

As adoption progress moves forward to be 'Approved' to be in the running again (for lack of a better explanation), I've had a lot of feelings and even some experiences that are good and frustrating. I'm not in a 'rush' for another child at this exact moment but would love to hear of a potential situation before the year is out if I'm being honest.

Here I go with some deep thoughts. Good thing this is my opinions and thoughts blog. lol. :)

As with Evan's Adoption, we prayed about what we wanted out of our experience, including preferences for a child. We knew, we wanted to be parents. We came to terms that it was highly likely we would not be able to get pregnant. We made sure before we pursued adoption that we wouldn't 'sign up' before we exhausted our fertility resources so not to hinder a needier family's chances. Once we realized fertility wasn't working for us, we were excited and a little scared to move forward. After all, we now had to deal with the reality that we could really have a child after all this dreaming and praying. :) We talked about, prayed about and thought about what we really wanted to provide for our child so if our child's birth parents wanted to know, we could have a clear answer (biological parents don't necessarily have to think of 'reporting' everything they do and think to another human before procreating... you're really missing out. riiiight... lol). First of all whomever our child is, or what ever child we ever come in contact with, however casual, we want to treat them as a Child of God. We desire to teach our children that they have a loving father in heaven that created us all and that they have a divine worth an purpose on this earth. We want them to know we love them unconditionally so will encourage them in all their righteous desires. We want them to know that we love each other as husband and wife. We want to develop a close relationship with them with open communication. We want them to face adversity in it's many forms with confidence that they can they can overcome it with joy.

We also decided in this process that we do not prefer a boy or girl or any particular race because we know Heavenly Father knows who we need and who needs us. Birth parents don't get to choose the sex and with the subject of race, adoption offers many children needing a loving home. I don't want you to think I am a charity case adopter, I am a parent for selfish reasons, I wanted to be a Mom. I think if anything, Courtney chose us and saved US from misery. It is documented that the overwhelming majority of Adoptive parents are Caucasian, so if Caucasian family's adopted 'like' children only, what then of the rest of the races available in the U.S.? This may not be coming across right but the point is really, why wouldn't I let the birth mother choose if she thinks I'm worthy of her child. I can always tell Evan and any future children that (in our agency at least), his birth mother/parents had many choices but she chose us to be your parents cause she saw a light in us that resembled her own. That 'light' in each of us knows no color so I will have to fortify my thick skin for not only the innocent yet ignorant comments about my adopted child. ie: 'Where did you get him from'? But if in the future our children are from another race, we will have to prepare ourselves and our children for stares, questions, comments, reality and ignorance. I have questioned if it is worth it to be sure I can provide any and all of my children the first mentioned goals and the answer is yes, I will do my best to be the best mother I can be. I'm so excited for what is ahead for us. I can't wait to see and feel who is being sent to our family. Evan get to have siblings and learn to share his stuff. :)